Crucible

The Holy Spirit has been moving me lately. I have been coming through a crucible of change, super heated until there’s a reaction. Some impurities have been burning away, maybe I’m a little different now.

Life has been hard lately, and very stressful. I was about to break, then I did. Fortunately, I broke into God’s hands, and not into the ways of the self. I might have ended up hurting myself, or worse, had I fallen to myself in my brokenness. But God (one of the greatest phrases of all time “but God”) rescued me, and instead of seeing my changes and my circumstances destroy me, He showed me more of Himself, and His great power, sovereign nature and His love. Through it I have learned to see more of my own love too. I find myself sobbing at beautiful illustrations of God’s power and glory. I love Him more now, and have learned to do so through a process which has brought me great pain. I am thankful for James McDonald and his Walk in the Word ministry which has shown me much of what I needed to see in this time of struggle.

I want to be honest with you, and let you know that it’s not all victory and good times. Sometimes it’s the pain and the suffereing which bring us closer to Him – and that is a blessing. I find it to be like Paul when he said he counts his suffering and loss as gain for the cause of Christ. It is hard to understand without going through, but it is an invaluable tool of the Lord for bringing us near.

I pray that you too will draw nearer to the Lord in dark times. He has something greater waiting if you do.

On The Path

On December 14th I delivered my first sermon. The pastor set a date and gave me six or eight weeks to prepare. Honestly I think I did most of my preparation in the two weeks before- I’m a procrastinator. I hope you enjoy it, and grow from hearing it. I plan to preach more in the future and teach more Sunday school classes. My gift and joy seems to be in serving in that capacity. Please keep my ministry in your prayers, and if you have any prayer needs please contact me via email
JohnnyDotson@gmail.com

Edit: My intent was to post the Audio and Video of the sermon, but my basic account won’t allow me. If you would like to hear it, please ask me via the above email and I will be happy to send audio.

I hope you will find your direction and calling. I will continue to post about my journey as it progresses – the good and the bad – in hopes that it will help direct and inspire you. Amen.

What’s your position?

What’s your position? Are you actively involved or passively involved? There is no non involvement. We are intrinsically connected to the world- physical and spiritual. Whatever your take on it is, you’ve made a decision. For better, for worse or for weirder the world is impacted by your level and position of involvement.
Make a good choice.

Being Radical

Do you want to do something mundane, or something radical?

God didn’t call you to live a life without substance. He called you according to a purpose. You are made to make an impact on the world. That can occur anywhere, we all have a mission field. Is yours the home, your school, your workplace, a jungle in South America? I don’t know. You can find out though. Ask yourself and God what drives you and what your spiritual gifts are.

What motivates you and what breaks your heart?

What comes naturally to you, that other people might not find so easy?

If you can see these things about yourself you are well on your way. If you’re having trouble, look to those around you for feedback. Try aptitude tests and personality tests too. These can be great tools for finding your way to your calling.

Bless you, and good luck.

Modeling the Church Fathers

When we look at the early church, we see many behaviors and attitudes that seem radical. We can model behavior of the church fathers like Paul. He went through trial after trial and counted his suffering for the sake of the cause of Christ as reason to rejoice! Am I bold enough to ask for trials and persecution? I don’t know – yet, I must have that strength because as scripture says” I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” and I am God’s temple. He dwells within me. Therefore I must share in the same spirit.
I am resolving to pour my heart into the truth and joy of salvation and find my peace there.

Sometimes it’s challenging to see and settle into that security, but it is so very necessary to our peace of mind. If you desire to be sincere in pursuing your path, you may have to put away your distractions, idols and crutches and endure suffering which glorifies the Lord. It is a scary idea to move out of comfort and security, but many have done so and been blessed.

Putting myself out there

The next leg of my journey seems to be actually opening my mouth and sharing. As scary as it can be to put your deepest love out there, I love it – At least when I’m valuable to someone for having done so.
I’ve been blessed so far to not have the experience of being rebuked for it; but I pray that when that day comes (and it will, I’m sure) that I will still see the blessing in that and praise the Lord anyway. Jesus said in the Beatitudes, “blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness”.

I had the wonderful opportunity to speak with a friend at work who seems to be getting into the faith. He has described that he has been going to church and really enjoying it, and that he’s changed his life in several ways, including giving up drinking. For these decisions I am very happy for him. I know it can be tough to make those changes, but he seems genuinely happy to be where he is now. That makes me very happy.
I had been relentlessly pursuing a promotion at work- applying for openings in other buildings. Missing out on the work opportunity opened the door for this ministry opportunity; and it is a blessing I couldn’t have foreseen or known to ask for.

My friend from work does have some very real and very tough questions about Christianity. I finally realized that much of his questioning is about the face of the religion rather than the faith itself. It saddens me that Christianity, especially where the practitioners fall short of where they are supposed to be, becomes the face of us. The Bible makes very clear that there is no difference between people, and that we are to be loving, forgiving and to make disciples of all nations – no matter where a person comes from they need to know grace.

Just as Jesus showed that religion and legalism aren’t the ways to Heaven, that truth still stands today. Our religion should simply be an outpouring of our love for God and His creation. Nothing more, nothing less. If it is simply ritual, and it is not done in love, then it means nothing to God or to us. If it alienates people and drives them away from what Jesus has to give, then we’ve done a terrible disservice to them and our Lord. Fortunately we can be forgiven. Since the Bible makes clear that we can’t be saved by works, then what good is placing the law on people and condemning them for failing at it? We all fall short of it, and are saved only by grace through faith. Otherwise we would all be condemned to a terrible, but just fate.

Like everyone, I have things in my past of which I could be ashamed. I know that I am forgiven of those things, and I no longer need to worry about them. I do however, fear being judged by others because of them, so I am overly careful of sharing about those things. What I realized in my conversation with my friend at work, is that my testimony is valid and powerful. I don’t know that it affected him and his decision for God , but it helped me build bridges to personal experience with some of the things we talked about, and he told me the conversation was helpful. In fact, he has come to me with more questions. I feel this is a sign that I’m helping him significantly.
I have come to realize that there are struggles in my life, but God has blessed me by reducing and eliminating some major ones. It is time to be grateful and confident- and to share my testimony and bear witness to a world in need. It’s scary, but feels right.
Just speak truth in love and you’ll be fine.

Calling

I declared my calling to pastor and preach to the church Sunday.

 

I had an outline detailing what I wanted to say, and had revised it to make sure it provided some sound development and ensured I used eloquent phrasing in places. Then of course, I forgot to take it with me.

 

The whole morning I was anxious, I was shaking and trying to think of everything that I wanted to say, but very little came to mind. I knew I had to get up there and say something, I was determined to get it out there. I’m ready to shout it from the rooftops. Having a calling is one of those things that I think some people are blessed with (and that calling is not always in the church), and I was always jealous of. I’ve been dying for years to find my calling and carry it out. Having that experience though, I can safely say that I won’t take it lightly and I don’t intend to ever take it for granted. For the particular calling I have I know that not taking it for granted is important. Pastoring is a major responsibility, and I pray that as Moses spent years away from his home before God called him to be His voice to Pharaoh, that I will be blessed to witness God do big things after this time of preparation.

 

I am tempted to think of this time that has passed as a wait, or time spent unsuccessfully, but it turns out that I needed it to develop. Without the soul searching and prayer and self-discovery I’ve embarked on, I wouldn’t know why I’m called to pastoring. I also would have all the room in my mind to question it and potentially deny it or run from it. Since God waited to tell me in His time, I was able to get mentally prepared for this, and appreciate it and enjoy it. I am extremely excited for the next step. I’m kicking around sermon ideas and beginning drafts. I’m working at being more relational to more members of the congregation and to form deeper relationships with those I’ve already befriended. These are important steps.

 

As difficult as it was to get up there unprepared and speak in front of everyone what was on my heart; that was really the easy part. Now the follow through and the schemes of Satan will be the big challenges. It’s extremely important for me to remain accountable and set a proper example for the people. Where my wife and I were not as strict about giving before, we have dedicated ourselves to giving at least 10% each week, without fail. Where before I wasn’t careful about self-control in terms of what I take into my body, now I am working on being disciplined and focused on how I eat. (I found out I can make some decent homemade, whole-wheat crackers. Those will likely be a new staple to my diet.)

 

My Bible study time has already increased. I’m in the word about once a day now; usually at night before bed. Where before it wasn’t really measureable on such a timeline. It was very infrequent unless I was on a kick about a certain topic that I wanted to know more about.

 

All-in-all, I want to say to any of you out there who need a word of encouragement, this blog is for you. I felt the way you do now, lost and lacking purpose and direction. It’s a terrible feeling. However, God will reveal His purposes for you in His time. Maybe you have pursued a calling and grown cold to it over the years. Take a hiatus and spend time with God to see why you’re there in the first place, and if that call is still the same or not. It may be that you just need to see your purpose rekindled, or maybe it’s changed altogether, but this is mostly for those who have not yet felt a calling. Just keep your eyes and your heart open to ways to parlay your experience into something. This may clue you in to which direction you’re supposed to go. If you’re still not sure, just pray without ceasing until you get your answer. I must warn you this could take years, decades even, but it’s worth it. I promise. Just trust that God has big plans for you if you are open to Him.

 

 

Surrender

For a couple of years now I have been struggling with the call to ministry. I have been in prayer about it off and on, and talked to Pastor Mike and Pastor Peter about it over the course of the time I’ve been struggling. Lately I have come to see that my call has been quieted by my service to another god. I have made an idol out of money and career. I have not lost my love for God, but rather focused my attention, affection and service to getting that next promotion, working harder than the next guy and working an extra job all to provide for my family.

It turns out though, that scripture is right. There is not a need to worry for the things of the world. God will sort them out, and provide for us. Just as is says in Matthew 6:25-27:

25 Therefore I say unto you, take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body more than raiment? 26 Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow no, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they? 27 Which of you by taking though can add one cubit unto his stature? KJV

While I do not know if the changes I’m seeing in the immediate future are for more monetary provision; I do believe that God will make a way and care for my family so long as I serve Him and work to His glory. Yes, that means working hard at my secular job, but not putting it before love – love of God and love of others. This is where I’ve gone wrong.

You see, I have struggled so hard with this career stuff, that it has stressed me out, worn me out and exhausted me in every way. It has taken its toll on my family in that I don’t get to spend enough time with them and left me feeling very frustrated and empty inside. I have come to see that I want to be there for my family and my church family.

God has provided me a set of circumstances to learn that ministering is where I belong. For reasons unknown to me, my weekend job let me and my wife off of work for a couple of weekends. This came right at the tail end of me feeling overwhelmed and ready to give up on my career at my day job, and refocus my efforts on my long term (post bachelor’s degree) career path – communications.

We decided to take full advantage of the free time and, among other things, finally get back to a morning service at church. Here God spoke to me again. He must have broken my heart over my work habits to prepare me for the message. We heard from the youth group who had just gotten back from Lift Camp, and two of them announced that they had surrendered to the ministry. The pastor’s youngest daughter professed her faith and announced she had been saved (with a bit of help from her dad, because she was too shy to think of how to say it in from of everyone). We also heard a message from the Pastor on not adding works to faith – understanding that grace is sufficient.

 In all of this and finally seeing the inside of the church again, God put on my heart my offering situation. Despite all the working I’d done, we were too broke to give but a few dollars that week, not even a tithe. However, God reminded me that he wants our first fruits. This doesn’t necessarily mean money in every situation, sometimes it means giving of what is important to us: our time effort and relationships. I know that the Holy Spirit still resides in my heart despite my sin (of which I am repentant – I am quitting my second job to pursue my calling) because I witnessed that I can still act in love.

In considering all of this, and what I’ve learned about myself as a career seeker and person, I know I really want to help people and I want to do it through communication skills. Those skills are what I consider my Superhuman Strength, or my Spiritual Gift; and as 1 Corinthians 12:6-7 says:

6 And there are diversities of operations, but it is the same God which worketh all in all. 7 But the manifestation of the Spirit is given to every man to profit withal. KJV

This blog is my first avenue for that, but I really feel my calling is to preach and pastor. I will be simultaneously working toward writing and preaching sermons, helping to pastor the church, blogging, maintaining my day job and spending time with my family.

My wife is super supportive in all of this. She is encouraging me to step out on faith and do this, knowing full well that the lord is going to provide, and I couldn’t be happier to have the support system that I do.

I appreciate your readership, that too is support – and pray you will continue to follow along my journey and pass the word along to anyone you think may benefit from seeing it unfold. I will do my best to be thorough and candid, and show all aspects, victories and setbacks alike so you can get an honest look into what following your calling from the Lord may look like.